The tour got off to a good start. We arrived in style at Coolangatta airport sometime in the afternoon and made our way to our luxurious accommodation at the ‘Dolphins Motel’. With a few hours to kill before sound-check we threw all caution to the wind, stripped down and skinny-dipped on the shores of Byron Bay at sunset. It was picture perfect. So picture perfect that we discovered our pictures were infact being taken by some anonymous voyeurs. With clothes back on it was time to rock n roll for the locals at the Great Northern. Not many people turned up… but it was fun anyway. I made friends with the only two people who seemed to be enjoying the show – Robyn and Stanley. They danced alone on the empty floor like the last drunken guests at a wedding and yelled praise throughout our entire set. It was great. We watched Seekae and Decoder Ring (they were both super good!), hung around a bit and finally crashed at our motel. But not before watching The Heartbreak Kid, a wise choice from the motel’s DVD collection yet possibly one of the stupidest movies to be released of late. However we did learn some useful skills…like how to urinate on someone’s back when a jellyfish has stung them. This part of the movie was particularly disturbing. We watched it on repeat a few times and went to sleep with images of pierced genitals and body excrement on Mexican beaches…charming.
The next morning after a night in a room with a band member experiencing severe flatulence I was pretty ready to checkout and move on. A few hours into the day, some gas busters later and Bridezilla were eating a breakfast fit for kings at our old friend Murray’s country hideaway in Ballina. Murray took us to a waterfall. After much deliberation we took the plunge and jumped in. It was freezing. But oh so nice. Driving back to Murray’s we passed Olivia Newtown John’s Spanish Villa. We stopped in for tea but she wasn’t home. By the time we arrived Murray’s lovely wife Jonesi had made us an amazing vegetarian lasagne, we scoffed it down and with many thanks and goodbyes pilled back into our Tarago and hit the highway…destination…the Gold Coast!!! Our tour manager, Scare guitarist and Queenslander local Brock informed us that the Gold Coast was a town of tits and turps and advised that we drive on straight to the evening’s venue.
In perfect time, right on 6 o’clock, we arrived at The Currumbin RSL! Daisy and I, ignorant to the traditions of the Returned and Services League, managed to get told off for our untimely entrance mid-way through the evenings reverent playing of the Last Post. With shame in our wake we headed upstairs and got to work eating most of Decoder Ring's cheese platter. Full of cheese, pizza and pink lemonade we played an agreeable show. Like the previous night the audience was modestly sized and at times I found myself feeling a little like the entertainment at a cheesy school formal. During the set Holiday told the audience about our towel-less shower across the road in the Currumbin clubhouse, Daisy mysteriously disappeared off stage for a while, Millie played a roaring solo in St Francine while my guitar kept cutting out and Josh was all smiles as usual. After the show John from Seekae told me his dad had commented on our "Steely Dan influences" – I was reasonably perplexed, pretty chuffed and a little concerned all at the same time. Tired and a bit confused by our experience at the Currumbin RSL we drove back and stayed the night in the basement of a Queenslander. I got hit in the eye with a bouncy ball in the middle of the night. Brock said it was an accident.
The next morning we all awoke with blocked noses, had some more towel-less showers and yet another royal breakfast cooked by Holiday’s godfather. Back on the road again we found ourselves in Brisbane. Daisy bought four porcelain mice and Millie stuffed a dried cane toad in a glass jar for her friend back home. We checked in to our "quality 3 star" hotel and then had dinner at a Japanese restaurant taking the phrase 'sushi train' at its word. We spent an anxious meal waiting for the proportionately small mock train pilled with sushi to come past us. Needless to say the sushi was unsurprisingly average. Back at ‘The Zoo’ it was time to watch the excellent Seekae. There were a fair few more people at the show in Brisbane but we were still the only ones to dance up the front.
We played our set next, danced a little more than usual with Holiday heading into the audience for some tambourine playing at one point. Post-show Millie, Josh and I versed Seekae in a handball tournament. Bridezilla were the unarguable losers. If by some twist of fate Seekae fail as musicians they certainly have a promising career in handball ahead. Decoder Ring was particularly entertaining this last night. This might’ve had something to do with the two guys directly in front of me…one playing air guitar and the other air drums throughout the entire set like the 7th members of the band. We hung around a little after the show, Daisy met up with her first boyfriend from Townsville while George from Seekae informed me with his stress-metre card that I was highly-strung. I’m not sure how accurate it was considering Daisy and Millie got ‘calm’ but either way we decided it was time to go home for some much needed sleep. After 4 hours of sweet dreams we drove to the airport for our flight back to Sydney. On touch down…Millie and I headed straight home, Daisy Josh and Holiday made a pit stop to the fish markets while Brock spent the day mini-rabbit shopping with his girlfriend. A perfect end to a perfect tour.
photo courtsesy of John Hassell
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